Whoa, so I haven’t done this blog in a long time. Sorry! I feel badly, but I was really working and just didn’t have it in me to write one more word than I absolutely had to.
But I never forget my promise and I have to say I have not lost my temper. Sure annoyed, sure feelings of being anxious/uptight/angry here and there — but — not really. So I don’t know what to say about that — feels pretty good and I think it may be adding to a strange elated feeling I have been having now and again throughout the day. I am working pretty hard on a couple of fronts:
One: I read an interview with Deepak Chopra in Oprah (I know — but just listen to this). He said that Nelson Mandela said something like, “Think of resentment as a poison you drink thinking it will kill someone else.” Get it? Resentment only hurts you you you you you. I have understood that in some form before, but only until Mandela put it in that way have I been able to really oust resenting, which has helped tremendously in not losing your temper or even getting angry. Maybe you resent for like a minute, but then you think of the poison. It’s a good one.
Two: I am trying to see things from anyone else’s point of view but my own. I am pretty clear on how I think and feel about things, so in an instance where I feel uptight and might get upset, I try to summon other people and think about how they would think/feel about it. Mostly I think about what Milton-the-supper-shrink would think, but I also am throwing in husband/kids/friends/ex-spouses/parents ect just to keep myself in check. It works like this: “Wow — that is making me upset, I can feel it, BUT before I act, how would XYZ see this?” If anything it keeps impulsivity down and for me that is good.
Three: This goes back to an earlier lesson, the “fuck it” lesson. I often think that if I don’t voice injustice or anger, no one will. I feel I have to be THE VOICE to keep everything from turning into mayhem. And that is BS and a tad narcissistic. I am starting to say F-ck it, let someone else yell about it. Isabel stay calm and cook something or read your book. (by the way reading The Marriage Plot — pretty good.)
Okay, so I will try to up the blog posts as my editor has my manuscript at the moment, but there will be A LOT of work to do soon I am sure, so I can’t promise. I am going to buy a Deepak book however, so I’ll let you know how that goes. I think he’s going to tell me to meditate. Still haven’t done that.