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DAY 122 of Lose the Temper

Whoa, so I haven’t done this blog in a long time. Sorry! I feel badly, but I was really working and just didn’t have it in me to write one more word than I absolutely had to.

But I never forget my promise and I have to say I have not lost my temper. Sure annoyed, sure feelings of being anxious/uptight/angry here and there — but —  not really. So I don’t know what to say about that — feels pretty good and I think it may be adding to a strange elated feeling I have been having now and again throughout the day. I am working pretty hard on a couple of fronts:

One: I read an interview with Deepak Chopra in Oprah (I know — but just listen to this). He said that Nelson Mandela said something like, “Think of resentment as a poison you drink thinking it will kill someone else.” Get it? Resentment only hurts you you you you you. I have understood  that in some form before, but only until Mandela put it in that way have I been able to really oust resenting, which has helped tremendously in not losing your temper or even getting angry. Maybe you resent for like a minute, but then you think of the poison. It’s a good one.

Two: I am trying to see things from anyone else’s point of view but my own. I am pretty clear on how I think and feel about things, so in an instance where I feel uptight and might get upset, I try to summon other people and think about how they would think/feel about it. Mostly I think about what Milton-the-supper-shrink would think, but I also am throwing in husband/kids/friends/ex-spouses/parents ect just to keep myself in check. It works like this: “Wow — that is making me upset, I can feel it, BUT before I act, how would XYZ see this?” If anything it keeps impulsivity down and for me that is good.

Three: This goes back to an earlier lesson, the “fuck it” lesson. I often think that if I don’t voice injustice or anger, no one will. I feel I have to be THE VOICE to keep everything from turning into mayhem. And that is BS and a tad narcissistic. I am starting to say F-ck it, let someone else yell about it. Isabel stay calm and cook something or read your book. (by the way reading The Marriage Plot — pretty good.)

Okay, so I will try to up the blog posts as my editor has my manuscript at the moment, but there will be A LOT of work to do soon I am sure, so I can’t promise. I am going to buy a Deepak book however, so I’ll let you know how that goes. I think he’s going to tell me to meditate. Still haven’t done that.



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2 thoughts on “DAY 122 of Lose the Temper

  1. Margie on said:

    Just finished your book and it is phenomenal! I think I was lead to read your book, as it applies to something going on in my own life, and I’m so glad I was! I think you’re amazing! I’m going to find my own “chocolate ice cream” and start working on my temper! Thank you!

  2. Hi Isabel. Just finished your memoir Happens Every Day. Really hwart wrenching stuff. I looked you up to check on how you are doing, I guess because this is a generation of voyerism and also because I want to know you did come out of it ok and you are ok.
    Like the blog. Relate very much to you in the sense that I too am a reactor. But although I do have a temper my biggest issue is tears. I am overly emotional and it is incredibly daunting to control.

    So, anyway, how is it going?

    PS: I love Deepak Chopra

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